Holy Sanjay Gupta

For as long as my husband has been in this country, he has had a man crush on Sanjay Gupta. He jokingly said we should name our first born Sanjay Gupta...which goes well with our last name. I had to laugh when my friend Kajal wrote about her husband's obsession with him as well.

So this brings us to present and this is why our boy Obama is a little slice of genius. Sanjay Gupta as the Surgeon General. Sounds a little crazy doesn't it? Let's consider the recent past - look at these people to your right. Does the average person have any frickin clue who they are? Those are the last 5 appointed Surgeon Generals of the United States. Honestly my first thought was "isn't that one dude Colonel Sanders from KFC?". Yes I'll admit I'm being an ignorant ass.

Now let's think about our boy Sanjay. Good looking Indian doctor who already has rock star status, he's accomplished and apparently most men have a crush* on him. I'm having visions of him and Obama jogging together. They're not like our boy Bill who was known to enjoy a cheese burger, or 10. This is certainly more interesting than the Caroline Kennedy debate. Know what I mean?

*Obviously this is based on my extensive research and significant sample size of my husband and Kajal's husband.

One Crazy Old White Dude and some Big Ass Turbines

I love it when strange things happen.  Maybe I only think strange things are happening and there's really some ulterior motive behind it all.  Anyway I'm cracking up about this nutty old man T. Boone Pickens.  As you may know he's old, rich, white, Republican and really into wind power and natural gas.  So much so that you may have seen his latest commercials on the "Pickens Plan".  I would love to hail this as an example of  innovation coming from the private sector. Finally capitalism finds a way to make money on something that is also environmentally friendly.  However because this guy is old, rich, white and Republican I have to also assume he's a wackadoo.  I mean c'mon, he supported George W through multiple elections - he can't be that smart.

I guess we wait and see.  

I would also like to offer a big thanks to Chicago for making Philly look safe.  That is one hellacious place to live right now.  They've had a child shot almost every day since the end of June. At least in Philly we just shoot adults.  This may also explain why our Governor isn't bringing in National Guard helicopters just yet.  

Their Governor is on a tear.  Not only is he turning Chicago into a police state (which btw, I'm a big fan of) he also passed a gun law that holds adults who give guns to minors to the same prosecution as the minor. That kid kills someone, you're going away for 25-life too.  Awesome. Within reason, guns aren't really the problem, it's the idiots handling the guns.  Perhaps increased penalty will encourage responsibility.

Then there's Mayor Nutter.  He signed five laws into effect back in April with the support of no one (except of course the city residents themselves  but who cares about us) and took a ton of flack for it. You gotta love a guy with a rhyming slogan - "If you're missing your piece, call the Police".  Catchy. What's even funnier was his response to those who criticized his defiance of state law.   

"If we all sat around bemoaning what the law was on a regular basis I'd probably still be picking cotton somewhere as opposed to being mayor of the city of Philadelphia."

Amen Nutter.  

The larger problem is Pennsylvania.  Why can't Pennsylvania be a real Blue State instead of a place that just masquerades as a Blue State when it's really just two big blue cities with a whole lotta hick between?  Damn those fools in Pennsyl-tucky who marry their cousins and have three teeth. Couldn't they have moved just a bit further West or South?   

Darwin Sorts Us All Out Sooner or Later

I really can't look at that crack rash for one minute longer so here's a new post.

Let's talk stupid* for a minute.



This is a direct quote from the AP article titled "$5M Lawsuit: My Commercial Looks Lewd".

"The 37-year-old woman claims in her lawsuit that she did not "consent to or authorize the use of her likeness, picture, image or name to simulate a female having an orgasm or otherwise experiencing sexual pleasure."

"Indeed, the music to the commercial is bump-and-grind burlesque type music, which further provides the advertisement with a decidedly pornographic look, feel and sound," states the lawsuit, which was filed Monday in Manhattan's state Supreme Court.

The plaintiff, identified only as Jane Doe, says in court papers she won the role in the commercial for Szul Jewelry Inc. in November. She says the idea was that an average guy would get a woman excited by putting a necklace on her.

Three-fourths of the filming of the commercial, shot Nov. 9 by Q2 Entertainment in a studio in Queens, involved a comedic story line, but the woman later was told to sit and feign excitement for a few seconds while the young man put the necklace on her, the lawsuit says.

After that scene, the court papers say, the director told her to fake excitement while lying down, without smiling.
"He asked her to keep repeating the action until he thought he got the most authentic looking film piece," they say."

There's "excitement" and then there's "excitement". So the garden variety excitement I tend to think of is like kids at Christmas shouting for joy or the little victory dance that people do when something good happens.

So when was the last time that you sounded like this when you weren't naked? Ummm, how about never. So I think it's pretty reasonable to say that if someone asked you to act excited while lying down and not smiling, you might be a little suspicious about what they're going to do with footage of you moaning away like drunk sorority girl - no?

Here's item number two, again directly from the AP Article:

"The plaintiff, who is a married graduate student in elementary education, "has worked hard to project a wholesome image and has been extremely careful to avoid doing any work in the industry that would cheapen or tarnish her reputation," the lawsuit states."

This woman plans to educate children? I'm surprised she can walk out of the house without accidentally losing her clothes or getting pregnant. This woman should be kept far away from impressionable young people because clearly she is as smart as my left shoe. Perhaps her "lying down and showing excitement while not smiling" will prevent my future offspring from being exposed to such blatant stupidity.

See, occasionally fate steps in and saves us all from the weakest link.



*I recognize that perhaps she's just amoral and looking for a quick buck. That said, I probably would think less of her than if I she were just stupid.

A Little Hatred & Self Loathing for the Holidays

I'll admit that some days I live under a rock. I try to avoid the local 11 o'clock news since the only thing it typically tells me is how many house fires there were in Fishtown and who shot whom in the Mayfair section of town (exactly where is Mayfair, I don't know. I do know that I don't want to go there...people get shot).

Anyway, lately I've been obsessed with this whole Alycia Lane drama that's been unfolding. I think she's pretty and she always manages to look very serious when she's telling us about those house fires and shootings. She looks good in that "Anchorwoman Red Suit". Did I mention I think she's pretty? Anyway, that about sums up what I know about this woman.

I would have been happy to go on thinking she's pretty and nothing else. However, the media has made this virtually impossible. As a result I have learned the following lessons - In the event that you are an evening news anchor, you should avoid the following behavior...

1. Sending bikini pictures of yourself to married men, or their wives (even when it's by accident)
2. Dating a Morning Show DJ who has stupid looking billboards all up and down I95
3. Cussing at the nice police officers and trying to pull rank by saying you're a reporter (ummm, who would respond to that anyway?)
4. Telling the nice lady police officer that she plays for the pink team
5. Hitting the nice police officer

So now you're saying - how does someone who lives under a rock know about Alycia Lane? Why the Internet of course! I wouldn't have seen it if her picture hadn't popped up on the homepage and I said - ooooo shiny! Pretty! I know her! (does anyone else find it odd that my pretty new lady made national news for something so stupid?) How did this happen?

I'll tell you how - the average American is an ignorant fool. I just pulled up all the major news outlets to see what we're digesting.

NY Times feature article(s): New South Korean President, Bush/CIA Tapes & Sub Prime Mortgage drama at Morgan Stanley

Wall Street Journal feature article(s): More Morgan Stanley, Wed Fed auction & more mortgage related market drama

wait for it....CNN

What in the hell is this? We wonder why we're a stupid society? Who cares about some amputee or people without electricity. Speaking of dumb news. It was also a big news day for offspring in the Spears clan.

Britney's sister is knocked up. How old is she? 12? Anyway, this is like a feeding frenzy. The press is down in some podunk down in Mississippi with a population of just over 1K people on a man hunt for her baby daddy. (by the way I LOVE how the media uses the phrase "baby daddy" like it makes ANY sense at all)

I have a question...are the instructions on the birth control down South written in Chichewa? It's the only way I can figure someone can get knocked up by accident. Maybe they just don't teach that sex-ed class in the actor kid classes?

Who am I to talk, I have no point of comparison because I wasn't doing anything that would have gotten me "in the family way" at 16. I do recall a few years after that and BABY was number one on the list of things to avoid. I wasn't doing anything nearly as cool with my life as she is and I still managed to stave off teen pregnancy. Then again, I wasn't cursed with the Spears gene pool either.

So moving on to the other female in the family, Mama Spears. Probably the most ironic part of this whole pregnant teen drama is that her Mama Spears book on parenting has been delayed indefinitely. Frankly I'm shocked that the Christian publisher is no longer interested in a parenting book by her. The injustice!

I leave us all with the wise words of Chris Rock, "Your job in life is to keep your baby off the pole". Well done.