Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Looking for a Religious Experience? Try Stripping for God...

If you'll recall, two women tried to recruit me in the train station last week. My husband found some reference to this female image of God thing. Apparently, it’s an Internet church. I use the word "church" very loosely. As I was looking at the site I was thinking to myself, “What’s with the stripper in the banner?”. Then after some research I realized that the stripper is actually the head of the church. You have to admit that it takes some serious gumption to photoshop yourself into the work of Michelangelo.

I learned a few interesting things about this woman who calls herself Rasa Von Werder...

1. She, Kellie Everts, is the former Miss Nude Universe 1968.
2. She had her own TV show in New York called “I Strip for God”
3. She believes she’s seen God, twice.
4. She specializes in rescuing people from Purgatory –
celebrities no less. (Folks, in case you were wondering, Elvis has left the building.)
5. She’s pissed at the Catholics for giving up on that whole Purgatory thing – AWESOME!
6. She was a pioneer of body building – check out her
self comparison to Schwarzenegger.
7. She was responsible for the end of the cold war. (Seriously, you can't make this up.)
8. She launched her fabulous new church “Woman Thou Art God” in 2004.
9. Oh yea, she can cure that little gay problem you might have.
10. She's a Hillary supporter.

I am loving this picture of her under the Virgin Mary. AWESOME!

I have to wonder exactly what those women saw in me when they decided that I would be a good recruit for the Church of Strippers Who Art Thou? Was it my warm woolly sweater? My uncanny resemblance to a body builder? No wait, how did I forget about the giant "I was raised Catholic" sign blinking over my head! I think they were waiting for me to step outside to deliver a beat down, stripper style, over this whole Purgatory business.

I kinda wish I would have stuck around a while longer to learn about the Church of Frederick's of Hollywood. Do you think they get discounts on patent leather platform stilettos?
photo credit: www.kellieeverts.com

1 comment:

Rich said...

Are you kidding me? That's f-ing Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman does not "cure" gay, she inspires it, and more effectively than ebola.