Why do People Always Call the Cops on my Family?

I know I’ve been MIA lately, but as usual it’s with good reason.

#1 The tiny human living in my house goes to daycare which involves an enormous amount of crap to be pulled together each evening. It also requires that I wash 65,000 bottle and pumping parts as well as wash poop out of tiny little clothing. Curiously the human brain is programmed to entirely forget about your pre-child life so you don’t feel badly about this self inflicted punishment.

#2 I started work again and it’s already busy.

#3 I occasionally like to talk to the person I married. Yesterday we actually turned off the TV, put the kid down for a nap and had a conversation. Interesting concept…talking.

#4 With grandparents 3000 miles away, I have to keep that kid blog chock full of pictures and videos so they don’t feel like I’ve robbed them of their grandchild.

So I’ll stop whining about my life and tell you a funny story about my grandmother.

A few months ago my husband and I spent the evening over night at my parents house. In the middle of the night I heard this really loud pounding I couldn’t place. I woke my husband up and after several confused moments we realized the pounding was not at the front door as we suspected, but rather from my grandmother’s bedroom. She was sitting on the bed knocking on the window like a mad woman yelling “Help!, Help!”.

I went in and she told me that she got lost and thought if she knocked that someone might come and help her. I can’t say that her logic was flawed, I did get out of bed and come find her. The antics continue on and off for the next few months. Sometimes she wanders around the house in the middle of the night yelling at my parents to get up, sometimes she screams from her room. But, she has always stayed in the house….until two nights ago.

So she's staying with my aunt for a few weeks. Keep in mind this is a neighborhood she lived in for the better part of 15 years. In the middle of the night she gets up in her nightgown and bare feet and walks out of the house in 40 degree weather while everyone else was alseep. She proceeds to cross the street and arrives at the neighbor’s house. It’s at this point that she starts pounding on her door and yelling. Understandably the lady who lives there (alone) is freaked out and calls the cops. Four squad cars show up and find a crazy old woman in her nightgown banging on the door. They begin knocking on surrounding doors to figure out where nightgown lady actually lives. They soon locate my aunt and as my grandmother is walking back into the house she turns back and says to the police, “Thanks for helping me out boys!”.

Unbelievable…nightgown, bare feet, totally disoriented and she still manages to flirt with the men.