So I'm doing my favorite Sunday activity, sitting on the couch. This is the primary reason why I am hesitant to have children...I suspect it may interfere with couch time. It's not just the sitting, you need to watch TV too and more specifically, it has to be bad TV. TLC qualifies or E! or VH1 or my latest obsession, the Biography channel. This is mindless entertainment at its best. This is the reason for this post.
I am watching "Child Stars III: Teen Rockers". Other than the obvious question of "Why on earth would you subject yourself to that?" one has to ask - "Are there really two parts before that, how many teen rockers are there?". So first they profile JoJo whom I will admit to liking quite a bit. I didn't know she was 13 when I heard her music. Seeing her requires a little suspension of disbelief as she's wailing away about some man wronging her but regardless she has a tremendous voice. So I was excited to learn who the next Teen Rocker would be in this fantastic series.
Am I the only person who has never heard of this band Smoosh? Prepubescent sisters from Seattle who have now put out record number 2. One sister plays the drums and the other plays keyboard. They have some hippie crunchy parents and a few siblings and they live in Seattle.
This is when it hits me. We all know at some point we are no longer in the know about certain things. Was I not looking when this happened to me? So I go out to youtube to see what all the fuss is about.
I found the following link. The song isn't too bad if you don't watch. It's a little whinny but makes you think, "oh that's kind of cute". Cute in the way Hanson was cute before they started to like girls.
Ok, so watch them both back to back. Is any else confused about which band is which? If those Smoosh girls called up another sister to play guitar they could be Hanson. Both groups are doing "stuff" they like - the girls play soccer, the guys do the pseudo surfer thing. Then it cuts back to them playing music. Then it cuts to them running around having fun. Based on extensive research (ok, perhaps that's a slight exaggeration) I have decided that Smoosh is some sort of genetic cloning of Hanson gone awry. I've included a diagram to explain how this is possible.
Did anyone else see that cinematic gem called Multiplicity? (Oh yes, I am referencing a Michael Keaton movie.) Well if you happened to see it, then you know that with each cloning something degrades. Ok, not scientific enough for you? How about Dolly the sheep. Wasn't it bad enough she was named after Dolly Parton? Poor thing had to suffer being #2 and then a decidedly undignified ending when she was euthanized for poor health.
I bet you're wondering where this post is going. You're thinking to yourself - she's not really going to suggest that Smoosh should be euthanized is she? No, I'm not that mean. Ok, maybe I am but those pre-teen fans get really angry and I don't need to bring bad hate karma to this poor little blog. You draw your own conclusions. I offer the following evidence below that #2 is never good enough.
(On a side note, I spent quite a bit of my Sunday listening to Mmmbop and giggling to myself. Surprisingly, the older brother got much cuter. I also learned through my extensive research that the Hanson brothers have had enough children between the three of them to start a Partridge Family style act. I'm scared.)