A post about nothing...

I'm aware, I suck.  However, the blame for my lackluster blogging can be squarely laid on my unborn child.  Apparently pregnancy shrinks your brain by 6-8% depending on which website you read.  See!  It's not just me forgetting things, it's a medical condition.

PS: I want to smack the people who told me this was fun.  It's not fun. It sucks.  Not only am I fat now, but apparently becoming more stupid as the days go by.

My lack of creativity means all I can manage is a pile of random crap.  Sorry, that's just how it goes.

I like to watch TV while I eat breakfast.  Before I was "in the family way", I would alternate between news programs.  I have now discovered that reruns of Saved by the Bell are on.  I prefer to watch this.  I think it's an appropriate amount of entertainment for my smaller brain. (You can't really expect me to consume and retain all the fancy informations on BBC World News?)

Speaking of Saved by the Bell...Mark-Paul Gosselaar. New series this fall.  Seriously, I can't be expected to not watch courtroom dramas.  In fact, there are quite a few garbage series this fall that yours truly will be adding to the DVR.  Hello? Christian Slater playing a psychotic - love it. It's sort of like a schizophrenic Dexter.  And a shameful admission - Debra Messing in the Starter Wife series.  Yes, I watched the mini series - shut up.

To take a step lower (and you thought it wasn't possible), I actually went out to YouTube to listen to Miley Cyrus music.  How on earth did I end up at that point you ask?  It all started innocently enough.  I was reading a blog by this psychiatrist who was all worked up over Katy Perry and I thought to myself - "who the hell is Katy Perry?".  (I also thought "Oh dear god, I'm getting old. Why don't I know about this person??")  I read, I listened and I purchased on iTunes. What can I say, it's a catchy little tune.  I still can't understand why everyone is worked up over this chick - didn't Jill Sobule sing about being bi-curious in the 90's?  

Then I started following links to other crap and I ended up wondering what Miley Cyrus actually sounded like. I've heard her speak and she sounds like she lives under a rock somewhere in the deep south. I had high hopes for her music.  (As I mentioned, I am capable of deep thought these days) As it turns out, she kinds of sounds like a man and not in a good way.  If you dare - it may make your ears bleed.

Then I noticed that that the crappy trio known as the Jonas Brothers are the #1 song on iTunes.  Who is out there buying this crap? 12 year olds?  Do they have credit cards? 

I have to go clean my house now.  Thankfully my boss gave me a half day the other day so I'm halfway there.  It's curious, my best hours are between 9-5 these days.  That doesn't bode well for my domestic duties.  So the house is a bon-a-fide disaster and I can't seem to give a crap.  Lucky for me the other half wouldn't notice if he was standing in 3 feet of garbage anyway.  

Mamas, Don't Let your Babies Grow up to Have Dirty Baseboards

I know there are men out there who are clean freaks. While I've heard about them, I've never dated one and I certainly didn't marry one. My husband doesn't see dirt. He claims that when I tell him things like, "Hey, why don't you clean up the living room and I'll do the kitchen." that he doesn't really know where to start or what to do. It is because of this non-dirt-seeing condition that he asks me to make lists when I need him to do something.

Sometimes I don't clean up the things he leaves around the house as an experiment to see how long it will take him to notice it and put it away. The other week he left a screwdriver in the kitchen. I looked at it there next to the pepper grinder for 4 weeks before I finally caved. What I like to do is bring him into the room and play a little game. While I find this entertaining, my husband...not so much. I say "Hey Hon, do you notice anything here?". First he rolls his eyes then he plays along and starts to guess. Eventually when he realizes that there's a screwdriver on the counter he starts laughing and doing that face rubbing thing. He's quite the funny man. And then I ask him how long he thinks it's been there...he usually says something like "Uh, a few days?" and then I tell him that it's been more like 28 days. This usually results in more face rubbing and laughing.

His cleaning education is pretty similar to my German language education. I point at something and say, "Do you see that dirt?" and inevitably he says, "Huh?" then I say it again only louder, "That dirt, do you see that dirt?".

(Everyone knows that if you say something louder it will be better understood. DUH...)

What do these things tell you about my husband and me? Probably nothing other than we're both a mess. Anyone know a good cleaning lady?