Thursday, May 21, 2009

Today, Yesterday, Random Stuff....

My dentist is the bestest ever. Aside from being the nicest guy you could ever meet, he likes to sing little songs without words while he works on your teeth. It's a bit like humming with an occasional be bops or boos. His staff is also nice, talking to his receptionist is a bit like mainlining sugar. This is not an exaggeration.

So why you ask would I be yammering on about my dentist (especially since my cleaning isn't scheduled until the 29th)? He and his wife sent us a baby gift. She (I'll give his wife credit for this one) sent a little set of socks and a gorgeous crocheted hat. All found at one of my favorite neighborhood boutiques - www.shophelloworld.com. Their website is crap right now, but worth a visit if you're in the Philadelphia area. Last I was there they carried Patricia Locke jewelry...love it.

Anyway, I digress. So aside from being a really nice guy, he's a good dentist.

It's also a good night because I guilted my husband into writing 3 thank you notes. Yes that's right people - 3 whole thank you notes. I think I beg him on a daily basis but apparently tonight the planets were aligned. Why you ask don't I just suck it up and write the notes myself. Simple - if they wrote to us in German, they will be thanked in German. I think that makes perfect sense. If he didn't want to write these thank you notes then SOMEONE shouldn't have sent out birth announcements. Mmmhmmm - yes, I'm talking to you husband.

The big news lately is that our kid has started rolling from her back to her stomach. Tonight I found her screaming in her bed twice after we had put her down. The first time she rolled halfway over and got stuck on her side. Clearly this made her unhappy and so she screeched until we came to fix it. About 30 minutes later she managed to roll over, wedge her arm between the crib bars and then thwack her head into the bars while yelping at us. I can tell already this mobility thing is trouble. No good can come from a wildly unstable human being jerking around - just ask my dear friend in London. I seem to recall an evening after polishing off a bottle of Jose Cuervo...it involved a front flip, shot glasses in both pockets and the need to lock someone in their own home.

Speaking of accidents...the poop in this house is reaching a critical level. The other day she came home from "school" with a note that said she was changed because of extreme excrement.

1. You have to love anyone that uses the word excrement. I tend to think that only applies to rodents and other small creatures. Apparently it also applies to my kid.
2. At least said child is smart enough not to have extreme excrement at home most of the time. It's almost like she saves it up for them. She's a smart kid - poop on the people we pay, not your mother.


Ok and this is where I'll renew your faith that I'm still a nasty bitch. There's a mother here in our building that I reluctantly met one day in the lobby. Our kid's are roughly the same age. I can't be sure but I think she may have been in the remedial classes in school. The conversation was reminiscent of a conversation I recently had with cafeteria lady in my office. Aside from that she wears sweatpants in public and asked me if I would be interested in a play date. Seriously? For 4 month olds? It's times like this that I thank my lucky stars I get up and go to work every day and don't have to take stroller power walks with elastic waist pants chick.

Ok enough. Here's my parting gift to you all, a little something to entertain you for hours. Thanks JR - this is a real gem. Read the comments. One word. Awesome.

4 comments:

lostonthetubes said...

OK - was that strictly necessary? Though I suppose you could have revealed some other details of that evening.

Tara said...

As tempting as it was to tell the entire story as it's very funny, involves a cross dressing man with nail polish and a totally psychotic roommate who believes the pope wields a magical punishing arm from 3000 miles away, even I have some self control...

Anonymous said...

OK - 1. he didn't cross dress. he just wore cargo skirts sometimes with his jack boots. He was GOTH duuuude! And he had really nice shoulders - he could have worn a pinafore, and I would have been OK with it.
2. I completely missed the pope bit. You'll have to share that one via e-mail.

Lisa said...

Leaving the home with my dynamic wolf shirt secretly worn under a mild-mannered oxford gives me a feeling of unmitigated power and supremacy.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Best Link EVER