Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Penny Saved is a Penny Some Crackhead Throws Away

The week started with MLK which is an uneventful holiday by any standard. I decided that a girls movie and lunch day with my mother and sister was an appropriate activity to celebrate my birthday and the day off from work.

My journey began at 30th Street Station, just in time to observe a homeless man fishing pennies out of his pocket and flinging them on the ground. Then he mumbled out a request for a light…for his joint. This guy looked like he had no business throwing away those Lincolns and he certainly didn’t need to be smoking anything.

I needed a coffee so I went inside. Somewhere between removing the lid and stirring in a Splenda I was ambushed by two women inquiring if I would be open to a public opinion poll. I should have known better but I had some time to kill before my train.

Woman: We’re trying to get a sense whether the public has ever heard of the Female Image of God
Me (in my head): Oh dear God, why me…why is it ALWAYS me? Do you hate me that much that you send these lunatics out to hunt me down.
Me (for real): Ummm, you mean like Wicca? (you have to admit that was a good guess...)
Woman: No, I mean like the prophecies that talk about the female form of God. (This is where I zoned out and she discussed something that I do not remember for a good 60 seconds) Would you agree that where there’s a father and children, then there’s a mother?
Me (for real): Um…yea. Isn’t that Mary?
Woman: Oh you’re Christian (in a strange tone that suggested I might be a worthy adversary) No, Mary is the mother of Christ, we’re talking about the Mother of God.
Me (in my head): Where does this madness end. God is like an earthworm. He gets it done all by himself – asexual reproduction – bang! There’s Adam and Eve. He slices, dices, juliennes and then on the 7th day he rests.
Me (for real): I would love to chat but I was raised brainwashed by Catholics. I gotta go.
Woman (in dire voice like I was about to irreparably damage my soul): Do you want to be brainwashed forever?
Me (in my head): Why don’t you ask the guy who keeps you in the commune and forces you into the train station to recruit people that question?
Me (for real): No, that’s why I'm not practicing anything right now.


I'm not sure if she heard me as I was doing a panicked run/walk sort of thing to Stairway 9. Apparently the crazies had the day off as well. Next time I may think about renting a car instead…

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my God girl! you are too funny....I actually laughed out loud which wouldn't be a bad thing except I'm at work and shouldn't be reading your blog. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Yes, you are very funny, Miss Thang (if I may use such term in an ironic sense)...PS-- You apparently share your birthday with my hubby Mark M. So...Happy Birthday! Next year we will celebrate together