Hey Tax Man...Kiss THIS!

Not having children or owning a house is a pretty sweet deal 364 days out of the year. The one day that you start to question your current life choice is the day you see you tax accountant. I have a theory that the IRS is a front for a right wing fundamentalist Christian organization – they clearly want you to make babies and settle down into married arrangements. This is evidenced by the following – joint filing, children and a mortgage all mean they cut you a break. This year I came prepared, armed with something more powerful than them - my husband’s false optimism in Lucent’s performance. Rarely can one say that something good comes out of taking a loss in the market, but today I proved that Lucent is like kryptonite against the super human strength of the IRS.

Before I met my husband he, like many others, owned Lucent stock. Until last year he was still holding onto that stock, optimistically hoping that it would somehow rebound from it’s sad state. As the year end approached I sensed we were about to take a jailhouse style beat down on tax day and scrambled to sell in the last few days of the year. I won't say it was like prying food from a starving man's death grip, but he did refuse right up to the last business day of the year. That sale will deliver the equivalent deduction of a child for several years. All of the tax rewards, none of the diapers. Can you says A W E S O M E.

I am excited to report that this tax day, unlike the last few, is a day to celebrate…we are actually getting a refund!

So, for those of you who were lucky enough to stay away from crappy tech stocks in the late nineties, perhaps you’ll find a deduction somewhere in here that you'll find useful. I particularly like the breast implants and body oil.