My Husband, Connoisseur of all Things Supermarket

My husband moved to the US in early 2003 from Germany where, like most people his age, he was a student. At that point in all of our lives, funds were limited, which inevitably led to the search for “the deal” (I think we all remember Mug Night at Scooters in West Philly – Lord knows we wouldn’t have been drinking in that neighborhood if it weren’t for the 25 cent beers). So when we decided to live together there were some minor differences in lifestyle.

This was never so obvious as when we went to the supermarket. Let’s just say that when I shop I just throw things in the cart. I honestly look at the prices but they don’t register in my brain as good or bad, they just are. I make decisions about unnecessary items based on the price of the item. For instance, “Is $9 too much for Marcona Almonds?”. These questions might be easy to answer if I had any idea how much regular almonds actually cost...but I don’t. So my decision based on logic like this, "Well, I would spend that in two days on lattes and I would derive far more enjoyment from these almonds than those lattes, so no, it's not too much". I would be a miserable failure on The Price is Right.

My husband on the other hand is a much more responsible shopper. He actually knows how much things cost and notices when they’re on sale and buys them! I think this is really amazing. He comes back from the supermarket and says things like, “Hey I bought pork tenderloin because it was only such and such a pound”.

Like I said, amazing – right?

I attribute this knowledge of food prices to his infatuation with American grocery stores. When he first moved here he would become agitated if I went food shopping without him. I am convinced that for the first year we lived together he only came along to hang out in the cereal aisle. I also believe at one point in our relationship he may have loved American supermarkets more than he loved me. He was/is especially enamored by the Whole Foods. It is, without question, his Holy Grail of supermarkets.

Ode to the bulk grain aisle, the cheese department, Larry the bread guy, and of course, let’s not forget the chocolate. You think I’m kidding? Tonight my husband and I grew tired of our refrigerator having nothing more than 6 eggs, salad dressing and a few beers. We rolled our super fancy old lady cart over to the Whole Foods. I left him in the bulk aisle and told him that I would go do the rest of our shopping. I came back and he was still in the same place.

If there were an award for being the most methodical shopper, my husband would win. He bought 7 baggies of painstakingly measured stuff, it took 30 minutes and the entire purchase cost $3.59. Who knows what he plans to do with this, I try not to ask. One time he washed and spread 5 lbs of raw almonds around the house on little towels. Another night I found a bunch of nuts and grains soaking in water around the kitchen. I believe he plans to put these goodies in the oven. Whatever it is I’m sure it will pull us through a cold hard winter and feed our 300+ neighbors for just under $4. He’s just that kind of guy.

So if anyone out there lives near a Whole Foods and needs some food shopping done my husband “has cart, will travel”. Oh, and feel free to swing by for some $3.59 mystery oven goodness.